Creating the Gap

It is impossible to be who we want to be while holding tightly onto who we are.


We have all heard people say, “If you can imagine it, you can become it!” And that’s true. It’s also true, that if we don’t build the structure to support who we want to become, we will fail. We will not become who we want to be by doing the same things we’re doing right now using the same thinking that brought us where we are. Old habits, familiar mistakes, and easy rationalizations fill up our day, leaving no time to be the person we want to be.

Even with all the best intentions, we won’t experience the future we want until we’re so in love with our vision of the future we’re willing to risk who we are now to become who we are meant to be. There is no way to create something new, to build the future we see in our minds, using only the tools we already have. We have to create a gap, a place to step into without allowing fear, doubt, and confusion to dominate our thinking. Creating that gap, that opening for opportunity, begins with this question: “Where is my faith? Is it in the fear of what may happen, or in the joy of what’s possible?”

Have you ever tried to take action toward your vision, only to be held back by old fears, old thinking, or old habits? That’s the familiarity of the past trying to slam the door of opportunity and close the gap that allows us to step out of our past beliefs and lean into our future. When this happens, the natural response is to “try to do better.” The trouble is, that kind of thinking is still focused on The Problem, trying to “fix it” using the same tools, the same thinking and level of understanding, that got us stuck in the first place.

Focusing on fixing the problem is a distraction pretending to be a solution. What we resist, persists!

Instead of pushing against that closed door, STOP. Step back. Reassess. Describe what has you stuck. Say it out loud to someone you trust, a mentor who has experienced something similar. When you articulate what has you stuck, clearly and honestly, that’s when you become aware you don’t have to stand there struggling with it. New opportunities come into view. You begin to understand that the cycle of “trying to do better” is another way of holding onto what has you stuck, because it feels safe.

Ask yourself: “Will the future me be happy with the choices I make today?” If not, reflect, assess, and adjust to a forward focus. In your mind, create a gap on the other side of the fear, doubt, and confusion. Fill that gap with the vision of your future fulfilled. Picture yourself standing in that place. Describe it. Embrace it. What does it look like, feel like, taste like? Fill in all the details so that you will always recognize it as the fertile field of possibility and accept nothing less. Focus on that vision. Fall in love with your future, and the self-imposed fear (False Evidence Appearing Real) will disappear. Step through the place where the fear used to be and keep moving forward.



Connect with Trish Buzzone at:


Resource recommendation: No Limits by John C. Maxwell

This article was originally published in the March 2020 issue of Sandpoint Living Local / Coeur d’Alene Living Local.


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *